I have been thinking about my body, how it looks beside someone else’s skin I think about people telling me how smooth my skin is as I rub my breasts in circles with lotion for the second time of the day I have been wanting to turn my skin into milk fresh and white and sweet that men would want to drink the very last ounce of me the same skin I wanted to shed off for years my soul wanting to crawl out of this shell and possess the next most beautiful thing I see I have been thinking about my body and how it would look like without the grasses of hair that continues to grow unwanted I can feel them rough and just newly born and I condemn each one of them along with all their mothers who lived and grew before them I let the light burn them and curse each tingling sensation as I pray to the gods of fire that they may never see the light of day again I have been thinking about my body and wonder what the mirrors whisper to each other when they see me and I am curious to know do they hear the growls my stomach makes when I refuse to hear its yearning as my spirit demands for a smaller space to live in I feel the temple that I have built becoming hefty but saggy and I have been looking at the sacs of fat that cling to my every inch and I think of the men who told me I should lose weight as their cracked lips sucked my pumped and brown nipples like an infant holding on for its dear life I have been thinking about my body and the face that it carries everyday fair and soft in calloused hands that have tried to hold it and I think of all the tongues that have forced themselves down my mouth hungry and angry and always asking for more then I pick up the razor and I allow my pale face be damned with blood and I laugh and I put on my red lipstick and I wait for men to worship me.

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